"Trying to adapt ... but it is difficult" 
March 24, 2009.
This month has been chaotic. I was afraid to go to school but finally have felt was the most logical. Something told me that would not be easy.
regret not having written in so long, I was hard to sort out my ideas and above all have the strength to write, since having to remember how hard it has been this new life is sad and I no longer want to keep bothering my mom. I think this new writing as a form of relief.
Living in Santiago has been extremely difficult. It was sad having to move here and leave behind my dear father, since my parents are separated and now I can not see him as often as before, when we lived in the same city.
Right now, my mom is happy for his new job, but his time is fully absorbed and we see only at night. Distances are enormous and the work of my mother is something far too much time on public transport.
Step almost the entire day alone with my brother, well, now we have a nanny who cares for us, but of course I would have my mom as present as before, having lunch with us and had much more time. However, happy as long I did not see it, so I do not complain much or being selfish.
With regard to school, as I said before, has been quite difficult.
Shyness is the worst enemy when you have to integrate a new course and unfortunately I am suffering.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm an odd girl or my appearance is not very nice, because since I came to school almost no one takes into account at all.
But worse than overlooked, is that someone thinks you're silly enough to make you to be the butt of all jokes. Yes, that was with my new partner, Paula, the most popular girl in school, to which we all follow and do what she ruled.
really thought that these things happened only in movies, my old school was very quiet and despite my shyness my colleagues I have always been friendly and integrated. I never felt as far away.
Paula just think I'm the most ridiculous thing out there. He makes fun of my shoes (said to be outdated), my socks (and which are not used), and my hair seems very funny. And what's worse, all laugh with her. No, what is worse is that I remain absolutely quiet and I dare not say anything for fear that keep bothering me. Sometimes my mom would yell at me to change at school, but I really wonder if the situation will not be equal in all schools in Santiago.
Paula really has become on a stone in the shoe, I do not know when I can bear.
Paula worst thing has happened to me last week. I was sitting alone in the playground (as usual) when suddenly someone came to me.
- Could you give me a piece of bread? - Bent down and looked up my eyes. Although I'm ashamed to say, I think it was the nicest guy I've seen in a long time and could not help blushing. Always happens to me and gives me a lot can.
-Ssi clear (I hyperventilate and the higher voice and shivering than usual) - I gave him half my sandwich.
- You spent, thank you very much! Just today I did not bring money so saved my day, my friend.
always see you sitting here alone. My name is Benjamin and you?
-Aaangélica (silly, I should have controlled my voice)
"Hey Angelica middle third you're not? I am the fourth, but still invited me suddenly if a little of your snack I come to talk with you at recess.
Suddenly we were joined by a third voice to the conversation. Paula was obviously coming bother.
- Hey Angelica, you're red! Do not tell me you liked Benjamin?! Hey Benjamin, can not be so bad and go falling in love with this fool to take the collation. As you can fool it has begun to happen and then rolls you you're not going to be able to get rid of them. - Said with her voice ... burlesque
I could not help run. Now in recess, try to hide where I can. I do not want to see Benjamin ... well, if I want, in fact sometimes I look in the distance. But I'm very embarrassed after what happened. I guess it will be difficult have even one friend in this school, Paula was responsible for scaring them away to everyone, I guess.
not lose hope, despite everything. There are two classmates who have not reached the course, always named in the list. One is called Eduardo and another girl named Fernanda. I think Fernando is new and still I have faith that I have a friend. Who knows better than I understand right? Just coming to school without knowing anyone ... just me now I can understand that.
Now I say goodbye, and told my embarrassing story and I think I feel better. Served as a relief.
Tomorrow is a new day and what does not kill you makes you stronger, so I'll try to get ahead. Thanks
who read me and leave me messages.
